Vogel Library Events

from the book, p 3-4...

     "Yeah, only guess what?" I said. "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. And so that means I can't come to school on Monday. And now I'll probably flunk Kindergarten."

     "Hurray!" shouted a mean boy named Jim.

     I made a fist at him. "How'd you like me to bash your brains in, you big fat Jim?" I shouted right back.

     Mrs. came over to my table. She bended down next to me.

     "Please," Junie B. You simply must try to control yourself better in class. We've talked about this before, remember?"

     "Yes," I said nicely. "Only I hate that dumb guy."

from the book, p 76-77...

     Harold took the fake doggy doo-doo and a slingshot from George's backpack and handed them to him.

     "Be careful," said Harold. "The fate of the entire planet is in your hands!"

     With careful and precise aim, George shot the rubber doo-doo through he air and across the room. It landed with a plop! - right at the feet of Dr. Diaper.

     "Yessss!" whispered George and Harold.

     Dr. Diaper looked down at the doo-doo between his feet and turned bright red.

     "Oh, dear me!" he cried. "I'm dreadfully embarrassed! Please excuse me."

     He began to waddle toward the restroom. "This has never happened to me before, I assure you." he said. "I-I guess with all the excitement, I just... I just... Oh, dear! Oh, dear!"

from the book, p 2-3...

     Like I said, I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons. Let me just say for the record that I think middle school is the dumbest idea ever invented.

from the book, p 201...

     Mr. Worth told us he has a dentist's appointment tomorrow, so we're going to have a substitute. Subs are like comic gold. You can say just about anything you want, and you can't get in trouble.

     "Greg Heffley, will you please do this problem?"

     "Your mama!"

     "Excuse me?"

     "Your big fanny granny!"

     "Well, I hardly think that's..."

     "Your slap-happy grandpappy!"